How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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