So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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