love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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