Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize