So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's rum buckets o'clock
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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