This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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