Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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