I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Randomize
