I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
