STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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