my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize