It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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