So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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