I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
