Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
