Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
