hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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