We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
only you would photoshop your dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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