You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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