THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize