1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
