Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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