Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
