I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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