I hate all girls vehemently.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
