just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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