I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize