going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
