No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
