You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had to cum in my sink.
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