He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
