They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
