I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
