Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
