Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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