Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
