He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
