im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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