forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Blood and glitter go together right?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
