Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
