you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
we should paint friendship bongs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
