I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
