hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think i have herpe
just one?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
