my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize