he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize