Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
