woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
