I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
