She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
