coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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