so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
