Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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