Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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