im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
