I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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