the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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