This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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