theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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