My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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