whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
