just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
ttyl tear gas
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
