It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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