I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize