Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
