so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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